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My Father’s Heart in the Garden

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What was it like to be in the Garden with God? There was an incredible agape love of the Father for His children and an incredible love of the children for the Father. There was no fear, shame, rejection, feelings of abandonment, feelings of being unloved, unwanted, sadness, loneliness, etc. There was unconditional love, total peace, absolute security, absolute safety, absolute confidence, absolute joy, and perfection beyond belief.

As James Jordan states on his FatherHeart Ministries DVD, “The Orphan Spirit”:

Because of God’s love for them, He could not allow them to eat from the tree of life forever and He banished them. God could see sin was going to make man depraved, depressed, hopeless, despaired, and sorrowful. They would never know God’s love again as they had known. Separated from God’s agape love must have been incredible sorrow and pain. He physically drove them out. This was the first major paradigm shift from sonship to orphan. They now experienced the emotion of a broken heart more painful than any human being has ever known. To have to be separated from an incredible love. Walking out of the Garden and out of the Father’s agape love. Eros love now entered into the world. What came into their hearts was that they became fatherless. They became more like the one who was cast out of heaven. There was now more of a union, similarity, and oneness with Satan. There became an unholy alliance between two orphan spirits. The orphan spirit of Satan and the orphan spirit that came down upon the human race. As Adam and Eve walked out of the garden, everyone of us was in them.[i]

We are the fruit of their seed. Now the man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living (Genesis3:20).

Paradisewas now lost and the perfect love broken. Shame came into the world.  Abandonment and rejection entered into the world. So also, loneliness, sorrow, outcast, mistrust, and all other emotions of being an orphan and fatherless. The orphan heart was established. [ii]

This may have caused a great pain in the heart of God for the human race. He sent prophets and poets to convey his heart to the people. But no one could do it until he sent his Son, who would reveal the heart of the Father exactly as the Father wanted it revealed to a lost world, an orphan world.[iii]

Excerpts from:

 My Father, My Son: Healing the Orphan Heart with the Father’s Love

Author: Bruce Brodowski

ISBN: 9780982658116, Price: $14.99. Format: 250-page trade paperback

Available through: Amazon.com

Publisher:CarolinasEcumenical Healing Ministries

Website: http://www.brucebrodowski.com/


[i] James Jordan, FatherHeart Ministries,DVD “the Orphan Spirit”

[ii] James Jordan, FatherHeart Ministries,DVD “the Orphan Spirit”

[iii] James Jordan, FatherHeart Ministries,DVD “the Orphan Spirit”

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FORGIVENESS: THE ROAD TO HEALING

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 Forgiveness begins by admitting you have been offended. At this point you start with acknowledging the offense. You cannot quickly rid yourself of the offense until you bring it to the surface and call it for what it is. Forgiveness doesn’t remove or delete offenses from our lives. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you go into denial and forget this ever happened to you. Forgiveness will not erase your memory clean. What forgiveness does is to remove the power of that memory over your life.

Forgiveness doesn’t declare that what the offenders did is now OK. Instead, forgiveness takes an offense seriously, without trying to pass it off as an insignificant and trivial matter. Every wrong produces an indebtedness that we feel. Have you ever heard someone say, “You owe me an apology!”? If I offend you, then I have created a debt and am obligated to pay it. Forgiveness means that you must release what you are owed and not give your offenders what they deserve. Forgiveness acknowledges the debt but you are choosing to cancel it. This is the essence of forgiveness – releasing the other person’s indebtedness to you.

Forgiveness means that you are releasing the offender into the care of Jesus who is our just Judge and our Defender. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord (Romans 12:19).

When we hang on to the offense and refuse to release it, we are deciding that we want to stand in God’s place and take our own revenge rather than let our Just Judge do it. Genuine forgiveness recognizes that we do not have the right to become the enforcers of justice. To render justice to the offender, it would have to pass through us first since we are standing between God and the offender. Having bound ourselves to our offender through retaining the offense and standing in God’s role in seeking to render our own revenge, we position ourselves right in the middle of God’s line of sight standing between Him and the offender. For God to have access to the offender to bring about justice, we must release the offender and the offense out of our hands and into the hands of God, our perfect and holy Judge.

One reason you may not want to forgive is because you fear having to reconcile with the other person. However, forgiving a person doesn’t mean that reconciliation is the inevitable next step. While forgiveness is always necessary, reconciliation is not. Sometimes reconciliation is impossible because the offender is dead or unreachable. In addition, your offender may not even have any desire to be reconciled. Forgiveness depends on the offended releasing the debt of the offender irregardless of whether the relationship is restored. The offender could be a person who sexually molested you, a person who verbally belittled you, one who physically abused you, or one who betrayed you. If you have been wounded and the potential of further wounding is possible or even probable, safe boundaries are necessary.

Here’s the clincher. Your offender still has power over you until you forgive. That ought to irritate you if nothing else. You could be sitting around, angry as you can be, thinking that as long as you do not forgive, you are punishing your offender(s), while in the meantime your offenders can be going about activities of their daily routine enjoying themselves, not even thinking about you, much less concerned about you, and going on with life. But NO! You are punishing them, right? Who really is getting punished?

The result of forgiveness is the freedom to pursue the purposes of God for your life. Unforgiveness stifles God’s destiny for our lives. It clouds our motives. It pollutes our purpose. It tempts us to deviate from our course. When unforgiveness is present, we find ourselves weighed down and easily worn out. When we have a heart that is willing to forgive, then the weights that hinder us are gone.

You can identify the seed of what you have been sowing by examining the fruit of the crop you are harvesting, both good and bad. Whatever we give out, whether good or bad, will be given back to us in greater portions. That is the law of the harvest. We reap back what we sow, we reap later than we sow, and we reap more than what we sow. So, we have a choice in what we reap; the effects of blessing or the effects of cursing. When we suffer the effect of a curse, the suffering is essentially the damage and ruin toward ourselves for not choosing to give what we have received.

We can receive mercy without giving it. We can receive God’s forgiveness of sins without forgiving others who have sinned against us. When we do not give, we shut off the flow of grace from our lives. As a result, spiritual, emotional, and possibly even physical diseases are given permission to operate in us. Another thing that happens when we refuse to forgive is that we are cursing ourselves. Our tongue can bring blessing or it can bring cursing. Whatever we send forth from our tongue is what we reap. Whatever we send forth with our words returns to us. That is why we are told to “bless our enemies” and “bless those who curse you.” James 3:8-10 says, “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth came both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.”

When people have not forgiven their parents for wounding they received earlier in life, they cut themselves off emotionally from their parents, often vowing never again to relate to them or be like them. The effect is that you cut off your inheritance. Your parents, regardless of whether they were good or bad, have a source of blessing that is your rightful godly spiritual inheritance. Even though it is difficult to see it in some parents, there is blessing somewhere up the family line that we need to call down to ourselves. Bitterness puts up a wall that shuts off any spiritual family inheritance because we simply can’t receive. As a part of this same thing, we all have a masculine and feminine heritage that is passed on to us. Bitterness can shut down and your vow can cut off what God would want passed on to you. The same is true if you have bitterness against the pastor or a teacher in your church.

When an ungodly stronghold rules your life, you find yourself becoming a slave to your thoughts and those thoughts controlling you rather than you controlling your thoughts. When I use this term in this section, I am referring to a negative place that rules, controls, or dominates your thoughts and therefore dictates negative behaviors. When you have a stronghold of bitterness you have lost control of how you feel towards another person or situation. Since bitterness is nothing more than unfulfilled revenge, you stay angry or vengeful in your attitudes even though you might even act cordial on the outside. At this point, you have become enslaved to the bitterness, to the person, or to the situation. They have the power over you. As long as you can’t forgive, bondage prevails. Bitterness then becomes the personal damage that you do to yourself because you have chosen to either not forgive or feel powerless to forgive.

It is important to understand that there is a process in which a stronghold is built. Strongholds are not built overnight, but over a period of time when we do not address an issue appropriately by letting grace rule in our hearts. All strongholds begin when we open a door and give the devil a place in which to operate. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil an opportunity.

The word “opportunity” is defined as “opportunity, power, place of operation, an area of legal control.”It refers to the first step in opening the door to yielding legal jurisdiction. It is also translated in many different ways. It is translated as “foothold” in the New International Version. The King James Version translates it as “place” while the New Revised Standard says, “Do not make room.” The New Century Bible conveys the meaning as it translates the verse – “Do not give the devil a way to defeat you.”

The devil wants a base of operation in our lives. Although we have protection by what Christ did on the cross on our behalf, we can still provide such a place if we choose to harbor sin. Once we surrender some real estate in our hearts, the devil seeks to build on it. He doesn’t rule the whole heart, only the block we let him move into. From there, a stronghold is methodically constructed until this structure of thoughts dominates our minds and is followed by behaviors.

A stronghold of bitterness starts off when we do not deal immediately with offenses. We open the door when we do not forgive and it becomes the devil’s opportunity, his foothold because we gave him room. As long as we allow thoughts of unforgiveness in our heart, we are yielding our thought life to the kingdom of darkness. The demonic thoughts of blame, accusations, self-condemnation, and hate are given the legal right to dwell in our lives. Our demonic adversary wants us to self-destruct with our own bitterness. These thoughts of bitterness are so entrenched in our hearts and mind that we essentially become ruled by them. It is at this point that we can find ourselves helpless to forgive. It is best to be aware of these “opportunities” or “footholds” that open the door and give permission for a stronghold of darkness to become eventually built. Retaining an offense rather than releasing an offense is the first open door.

We can open doors when we entertain a lie and lies become embedded when we believe them. The progression could happen like this: an event occurs in which there is a wounding of the heart. It may have been an actual malicious action that wounded you, or you may have been hurt by your perception of the event as viewed through your filters. Either way, the kingdom of darkness was present to whisper lies into your mind that you received as truth. These lies could be things such as,

“They really don’t care about me…. They think I am worthless…. I am not as loved as my sister (or brother)…. They would rather be married to someone else than to me…. God hates me…. God only created me because He wanted someone to torment…. They only want to destroy me…. I have to punish them… There is no one else to hold this offense against them, so it is up to me…. They don’t deserve to be forgiven…. Someone has to remember what they did.

These thoughts may or may not have actual merit; however, it doesn’t matter because they feel true to you.

When you refuse to forgive, because you have a “right” not to forgive, you not only give the devil a place, or a foothold in an area of your soul, but you are now feeding it. The longer you wait to forgive, the harder it is for you to forgive. The deeper a root grows, the more difficult it is to remove. Though nothing is impossible to God, He demands our cooperation for its removal. The deeper it grows, the more unwilling we become to let the Lord run deep in our lives. To make matters worse, what may reinforce those roots could be the inner vows we make that hold us bondage such as “I will never forgive!’

Excerpts from:

My Father, My Son: Healing the Orphan Heart with the Father’s Love

Author: Bruce Brodowski

ISBN: 9780982658116, Price: $14.99. Format: 250-page trade paperback

Available through: Amazon,Ingram, Spring Arbor, Baker & Taylor

Publisher: CarolinasEcumenical Healing Ministries

Website: http://www.brucebrodowski.com/

Unforgiveness blocks inner healing

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Excerpts from My Father, My Son:  This is the essence of forgiveness – releasing the other person’s indebtedness to you. Forgiveness means that you are releasing the offender into the care of Jesus who is our just Judge and our Defender. Unforgiveness blocks inner healing.  When we hang on to the offense and refuse to release it, we are deciding that we want to stand in God’s place and take our own revenge rather than let our Just Judge do it. Genuine forgiveness recognizes that we do not have the right to become the enforcers of justice. To render justice to the offender, it would have to pass through us first since we are standing between God and the offender. Having bound ourselves to our offender through retaining the offense and standing in God’s role in seeking to render our own revenge, we position ourselves right in the middle of God’s line of sight standing between Him and the offender. For God to have access to the offender to bring about justice, we must release the offender and the offense out of our hands and into the hands of God, our perfect and holy Judge.

The Orphan Heart

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I Felt Unlovable, Unloved, Unaffirmed, Inadequate, A Misfit Without A Dad – A Story For All Ages

I am an American World War II orphan child born without a father in June of 1945. My dad was killed in World War II before I was born and my mother never remarried. Therefore, I didn’t have my dad around to affirm that I was like him, that I was lovable, and that he loved me. I didn’t have strong male images in my life to teach me what it meant to be a male child. My grandfather was a strong willed Polish immigrant, who ruled over his house of 10 kids with an iron hand. Even though I loved my grandfather dearly, I always had an intense fear of him and the day that I would do something to make him very mad. Unfortunately, that day came as my grandparents watched over me while mom went out of town. I hid in the barn where grandpa couldn’t find me until my mom came to get me. How was I to know that grandpa’s kittens couldn’t swim on top of the water in the rain barrel?

My aunts have repeatedly told me how much my mother loved me when I was a child even after she received the telegram in April of 1945 that Dad was killed in action. I don’t remember my mother being a hugging and loving person that affirmed that I was lovable and that she loved me. In my mind, our relationship is what I will call the Karen Carpenter parents syndrome (from the movie), where the parents feel no need to tell the children how much they are loved because they just know. They don’t need to be hugged and kissed as part of that love.

I always knew I was different in some ways from other kids. I never wanted to socialize. I just wanted to be left alone in a corner all by myself. Probably because I didn’t have my dad around to play with me. I did well playing in a corner of a sand box by myself while the other kids played on the opposite side. From what I remember, I was always doing things for my mother that ended up proving myself to be worthy somehow. I took dance and ballet lessons, for what purpose no one can tell me why to this day. It wasn’t my decision. Mom would push me to be the best. I later became part of a dancing duet at the age of seven, and a star of the dance school performing on stage. Thus began the part of my life when I became a perfectionist and overachiever to prove that I was lovable and worthy of love.

It was 1950 that mom developed breast cancer and started her fight for life. During the next five years she wasn’t around much. Most of the time, she was in and out of hospitals undergoing surgeries or treatments that made her ill. I was cared for by my grandmother and my aunts. Learning how to play sports and do guy things just wasn’t part of my childhood. By the age of seven or eight, I was able to take a city bus to go to the YMCA for swimming classes and general swim. I didn’t fit in well, and the other kids didn’t seem to like me much. I was getting used to being a rejected unlovable person. I felt that I must become perfect. I must prove to everybody in the world that I am worthy to be loved and justified to be a person.

Then in 1955, my mother sat me down in grandma’s living room and told me that I must decide where I want to go live if she should die. I screamed and screamed that I didn’t want to go anywhere, but mom said I must choose. The one place I did not want to go and live was the only option my mother gave me. Before October 7 of that year, I was taken to the hospital to visit my mom. The scene in the movie “Terms of Endearment” where the children are taken into the hospital room to see their dying mom for the last time still tears me up. That is what happened to me. That was the last time I saw her alive. She gave me a hug, and then she gave me a curse. She said, “Go live with your aunt and uncle, be a big boy, be a good boy, study hard, and become a doctor.” It took 53 years before I was able to grieve my mother’s death. At the funeral, I shed no tears and I made up my mind that from that time on I would feel nothing. I had been betrayed and abandoned. There was no one left I could trust and no one to love me. I firmly believed that my aunt and uncle didn’t love me. No one cared about me. I just had to take care of myself. My safe and secure home was ripped out from under my feet. I had begun to develop an orphan heart/orphan spirit.

High school can be one of the most devastating times in a teenager’s life especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. Especially for an orphan that has not been well prepared with a solid foundation for love, relationships, and intimacy. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to be vulnerable for which I paid dearly. My relationship with girls was a disaster. I was again rejected and felt sure that I was unlovable. I swore for the second time that no one would ever hurt me this way again.
I had no one to turn to. There was no one I could talk to. I was all alone, with no one to help me but myself. No one loves me. My aunt and uncle don’t love me. Girls don’t love me. Kids in school don’t like me. I screamed out at God that he was doing nothing for me in my life and didn’t love me.

Unfortunately this affected my personality, my social life, my psychological feeling of self worth throughout my adult life. Never feeling loved in any relationship, always thinking that people didn’t like me, striving for perfectionism to prove I am worthy of being a human being but never being perfect enough, never allowing anyone to get close enough to love me, looking for love in all the wrong places, never liking myself or feeling lovable, and never able to experience intimacy. I was fortunate to discover later in life that all of this is known as an orphan heart attitude and develops from not having a physically or emotionally present father.
It wasn’t until I had a life changing experienced of the love of the Father that I set out on my own inner healing journey. It wasn’t until I had an experiential encounter of the Fathering heart of my God that I finally felt loved, lovable, affirmed, at peace, and finally knowing who I really am. Christian Healing Ministries was a major part of this journey.  Now retired and in full time ministry, I have written a book about it to help other people of all ages. “My father, My Son, Healing the Orphan Heart with the Father’s Love.   Now available from Christian Healing Ministries  and Amazon.com

www.brucebrodowski.com

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