Orphan Heart manuscript in progress.

 

I am an American World War II Orphan born in June of 1945.  According to the Department of Veterans Affairs, there are 183,000 of us.  Although the precise numbers of World War II deaths are impossible to determine, these represent one set of figures for the number of deaths that occurred. These figures include military and civilian deaths where these were available.   The countries were: USSR, China, Germany, Poland, Japan, Yugoslavia, Rumania, France, Hungary, Austria, Greece, United States, Italy, Czechoslovakia, Great Britain, Great Britain, Netherlands, Belgium, Finland, Canada, India, Australia, Albania, Spain, Bulgaria, New Zealand, Norway, South Africa, Luxembourg, and Denmark.  The total was approximately 56,150,000 people.  Thousands more were slaughtered in the trench warfare of World War I.

Therefore, the possible number of forgotten fatherless orphans that has occurred in the world from these wars is astounding.  Some orphans have felt characteristics of an orphan spirit that encompasses a deep dark black empty hole of missing pieces in our lives.  For them, this was the consequence of war.  World War II caused a paradigm shift in the spiritual culture of the world due to the lack of a father’s influence in the home caused due to the deaths of soldiers.  This created an orphan heart/spirit/spiritual orphan circumstance that changed future generations.  However, every fatherless orphan, whether male or female, may feel the same orphan spirit, orphan heart.  The number of fatherless homes continues to increase from generation to generation. .  Even children who have absentee fathers for whatever reason can be affected by the same characteristics of an orphan heart. 

Today more and more children are growing up feeling fatherlessness.  More children than ever are in fatherless homes or those that have physically present biological fathers are without a father emotionally.  Not only is this true in the United States but it is also occurring through out the world.  Millions of children today are feeling they do not have a place of security, protection, comfort, and identity.   A place where they receive a purpose and destiny in their lives.  A place where they receive encouragement and affirmation.

16 million children were newly orphaned in 2003.  Wars orphaned or separated 1 million children from [1][1]their families in the 1990’s.  2-5% of refuges worldwide are kids living without parents.  17.5 million are 0-5 years old, 47 million are 6-11 years old, and 79  million are 12-17 years old.  87.6 million are in Asia, 43.4 million are in Sub Saharan Africa, 12.4 million are in Latin America and the Caribbean, 1.5 Million are in Central and Eastern Europe.  800,000 pass through Americas foster care system each year.[2][2]  UNICEF estimates the number of orphans at approximately 210 million.



 

My dad was killed in WWII before I was born and my mother never remarried.  Therefore, I didn’t have my dad around to affirm to me that I was like him, that I was lovable, and that he loved me.  I didn’t have strong male images in my life to teach me what it meant to be a male child.

 

 I don’t remember my mother being a hugging and loving person that affirmed to me that I was lovable and that she loved me.  Rejection can even be felt by children of well-meaning parents who fail to hug, touch or express affection.  In 1955, the one person in this world who loved me sat me down in grandma’s living room and told me that I must decide where I want to go live if she should die.  My mother was dying of cancer.  October 7, 1955 she passed away.  

 

At the funeral, I shed no tears and I made up my mind that from that time on I would feel nothing.  The orphan spirit was now developing stronger in my life.  I had been betrayed and abandoned. There was no one left to love me and no one I could trust.  My safe and secure home was ripped out from under my feet.  I had begun to develop an orphan heart.

 

 If you grew up fatherless or had an emotionally absent father during 1940-1990, and experienced any of the following characteristics, email to me your story to possibly be included in my book.  ellenandbruce@earthlink.net. 

 

Our trust in parental authority and in others is lost.

We develop a fear of receiving love, comfort, and admonition from others

We close our hearts to intimacy

We develop a “my way or the high way” attitude

We become controlling in our relationships

We enter into an emotional isolation.  I will not allow you to We believe that no one cares about us. 

 

 No one can fulfill our needs.

Passions: We are lonely and insecure.  We seek to fill these needs through other means that often develop into additions to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography and what ever else comforts us.

Position is achieved when we win the approval of others.  We constantly seek affirmation that we are worthy, have value, and are accepted by others.  We have a need to fit in.

Performance often leads to becoming a perfectionist.  In order to feel good about ourselves, we constantly have one more thing that we must do.  .  If only we had a better job.  If only I lived somewhere else.  If only I could run away.  

 

People in our lives are there for only one purpose and that is to fulfill all our needs.  

We seek to control emotions, people, or circumstances in order to never be hurt again.

 

 


[1][1] Nordic Journal of African Studies 11(1): 93-113 (2002)